The Eleventh One

or Dinner with Alabama.

One of the best parts of keeping a blog that's really more of a personal narrative/ journal is that no one really cares if you update regularly.

Last week there was a fantastic dance for our Middle School put on by FCA. It was outdoors and they decorated with Christmas lights, had a little stage for karaoke, provided a chocolate fountain for refreshments and filled the night with (appropriate) music chosen by the students themselves. I had never been asked to chaperone, but I am a paranoid girl and thought I should make an appearance. Plus, hanging out with middle school students is way more fun in an extra-curricular environment than it is having them in class.

I am so glad I went. It was the best dance I had ever chaperoned. There weren't the ridiculous bump and grind issues of the high school dances, the students seemed more willing to dance without worrying about whether or not they looked silly, and there was a great moment where one of the teachers taught everyone a shortened version of the Thriller dance and then everyone danced to one of Michael Jackson's best songs, like they do in the movies.

The night is not memorable, however, solely because of the dance. That night a colleague and I went out for a quick bit to eat. We ended up at this fantastic burrito place Cool Blue Burrito. It's reminiscent of Chipotle and Moe's but it's even more delicious and it's locally owned (yeah!). We sat outside and were enjoying our respective meals when a homeless man walked up, sat down near us and played his guitar. He was very polite, asking permission and taking requests and we invited him to join us for dinner. His name was Gary, but everyone called him Alabama. I, being a lover of nicknames, opted to call him Alabama. We had a great time, learning about Alabama's life and listening to his music, some of which he wrote himself. We tipped him well, and I'll admit, I bought him a beer with his dinner. (I encourage my students to give the homeless food instead of money to eliminate the temptation to spend the money on alcohol. I myself, apparently, supply the alcohol directly.) And when he left us, soon after he finished eating, he left us with a dirty joke. All in all, it was good fun and a good experience.

I feel like I should be wrapping this up with a moral or Bible verse or challenge, but I don't have anything like that. Dinner with Alabama was the first time I had ever sat down and talked with a homeless person. We didn't talk about being homeless, we talked about life, we spent a lot of time laughing. Alabama didn't define himself by his socioeconomic state and by the end of dinner, neither did I. I have no moral or Bible verse. I have no challenge. I have only this story, this experience, and it's one I thought worthy of being remembered.

The Tenth One

Welcome to The Tenth Post.

"Renegade" by the Styx has probably the best first thirty seconds of any song. Seriously. I bought an entire "Greatest Hits of the Styx" cd just so I could have this song, just so I could listen to the first thirty seconds over and over and over agian. And I am only slightly exaggerating. Very slightly.

I have been watching "Heroes": tv on dvd. It's been great. I am a little in love with Peter Petrelli. Of course I am only about half way through the first season, so I have some making up to do. Of course, by spending my time catching up on "Heroes" now it is forcing me to catch up on grading later. And later and later and later. Seriously though. Grading papers seriously cuts into my television viewing time. I must learn to both at once. I vow tonight will be different.

The Ninth One

Here I sit in my new classroom. That's right. They have moved me from the high school building to the middle school area, because I teach both high school and middle school. I spent 6-7 hours yesterday moving things around and scavenging for new stuff and sorting through books and throwing things away and not (apparently) using any commas. I have a single corner of the room almost completely finished and some of the rest of the room a little bit finished. I can't believe I am still here, but I have to have this whole undertaking completed before I leave for home. Currently, I am simply taking a break.

Summer reading is going well. I am trying to mix up my summer reading with "classic- classics," "modern classics" (as determined by me) and "candy." My "candy" for the summer are The Cat Who... mystery books. The stories revolve around a retired journalist and his two Siamese cats, one of which likes to help our hero solve crimes. They live in a small town "400 miles north of everywhere." The books are enjoyable and the characters are entertaining. The most amazing part is not the cat's intuition, but rather the fact that so many murders happen in this one small town.

I have also been reading quite a lot of Agatha Christie's books (let's call them "classic candy"... like Werther's Originals or black licorice bites). What I like most about Christie's two main protagonists (Miss Marple and Poirot) is that they may be brilliant, but they're also a little irritating. I like my protagonists to have some flaws. It's hard (impossible) to relate to perfection.

In the "classic classic" category I have Dracula and A Clockwork Orange. Neither of which I've finished. Dracula is interesting enough, but I'm a third of the way through and I still feel like nothing's really happened. It is, however, making me wish I was currently in a literature class, because I think this is one book that would be better if it could be discussed. A Clockwork Orange really shoudn't be on this list at all; I have yet to crack it open. It's definitely one of those books I like to talk about reading, but never seem to get around to actually reading it.

Now onto "modern classics." This is my own personal category in which I put every book that's been written more recently, but has yet to show up on any book list in any class I've ever taken. For this installment I have two: Rant: an Oral History of Buster Casey by Chuck Palahniuk and Everybody Wants to go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die by David Crowder and Mike Hogan.

Palahniuk is the very same author who brought the world the wacked out philosophy of Tyler Durden ("I know this because Tyler knows this") and his Fight Club. I loved Fight Club (book and movie). If you've ever read/seen it, you know it's pretty weird. Rant far and away surpasses that weirdness. The entire book is about Buster Casey, but it's told from the point of view of his friends, family, neighbors, girlfriend, random people he met a few times, local government officials and various experts on various subjects. Buster Casey grew up in a small town and got his rocks off (literally) by tracking down venemous critters and getting them to bite him. He never died. Eventually he left town and made his way to the city. That's when we learn more about the world in which Buster lived. A world that was shared by two groups of people: Daytimers, those that slept at night and lived their lives during the day, and Nighttimers, those that slept during the day and lived at night. Both groups had to be registered and both had curfews that they were not allowed to break. The book is confusing at times. It's a complicated society. Basically, Buster may or may not be responsible for a current outbreak of rabies that is sweeping the Nighttime population.

The book is interesting and engrossing, but beware. It is also gross. There are many parts I wish I hadn't read and many images I wish I didn't currently have in my head. I suppose it is hardly less graphic or gory than Fight Club, but it is not for the faint of heart. Fortunately, my heart is strong and I look forward to reading more of his books. Next time, however, I will have to buy it, for one is not allowed to underline and write notes in library book.

Everybody Wants to go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die is, so far, my favorite read of the summer. It is beautifully and creatively written by David Crowder (of The David Crowder Band) and Mike Hogan (also of the David Crowder Band). This is not your normal book about death (not that I've read many books about death, I'm just guessing here). The book is divided into various sections. One tracks the history of the soul. From philosophy to theology to science, what do people believe about the soul? One section tracks the history of Bluegrass (Yes, that's right, Bluegrass. The musical style.), and how it relates to death/dying/the soul. One section is in the form of an IM conversation between the two authors about their own experiences with death. My favorite section is the Columns. There are three columns and each is a short story that deals in some way with death. One column is about a man who lost his wife, one is about a woman who had a stroke and the last is about a boy whose tears (as in crying) kills birds. Divided into seven sections and interspersed throughout the book, this section is both beautiful and heartbreaking (like most of the book).

Crowder and Hogan do a fantastic job. They are thought-provoking, genuine and hilarious. I recommend this book to everyone. Don't forget to read EVERYTHING. No skipping the prologue, indices or footnotes. This book is well worth your time.

The Eighth One

"Eighth" is kind of a difficult word to spell.

It has been so long since my last blog and so much has happened. Please keep in mind that this list is not chronological... nor in order of importance.

1. And this is number one solely based on relevance. I am sitting in the Teacher's Work Room at the school in order to use the Internet. Whatever family I was stealing the Internet from at my apartment has finally gotten wise and secured it, making it impossible for me to access the Internet at home. The school at which I work is close enough that I can walk and so becomes the next "most convenient" place. Unfortunately this cuts down considerably the amount of time I can spend on the Internet. Sigh.

2. Mom came and visited me! We spent a day at SeaWorld (which is wonderful) and watched dolphins, killer whales (SHAMU) and seals/sea lions dance around and put on fantastic shows. We fed dolphins and watched their odd mating habits (exciting day in that area of SeaWorld), touched /fed sting rays (they're slimy), got lost on International Dr. and had an overall magnificent day.

The next day we spent at Cocoa Beach. There we floated in the ocean and it was amazing. The water temperature was perfect considering how hot it was on the beach. I spent a great deal of time just laying out in the sun, listening to the lifeguards talk. It was enlightening. Apparently that area of the beach was "not producing ANYTHING" that day. One guard, who became less and less attractive as the conversation wore on, had been trying to pick up girls that (not from the US) by explaining United States' system of Secondary Education. And he wonders why they walked away without leaving a phone number. Besides, I seriously doubt he had the mental capacity to explain it clearly and thoroughly. The same guard then regaled anyone in hearing distance of the time he was invited to a girl's hotel but never got farther (further) than making out in the hot tub before the girl's father interrupted them. According to him it was an utter waste of time.

During this conversation I found myself experiencing a plethora of different emotion. One, I was almost insulted that he found me not worthy of his attention. Two, I was disgusted with myself for number one and decided to be insulted that he was talking this way at all. Three, how could anyone think a description of the United States' school system was an appropriate way to pick up women? Educational, perhaps, but hardly romantic. Four, while this guard was first actively pursuing said women, then talking about his pursuits with another guard, who was watching the multitude of people gathered at the beach? Five, whatever they are earning, the lifeguards are overpaid. Their lack of attention concerns me. Six, apparently they watched too many Baywatch reruns. Can you say inappropriate behaviour?

The beach, however, was a wonderful experience. While we were there a space shuttled launched into... you guessed it... space. Throughout the afternoon more and more people congregated on the beach and at 5:02 everyone, man, woman, child and ridiculous life guards alike, turned away from the beach and watched the launch. It was incredible, both the launch itself and the effect that it had on the people watching. They watched in silence and awe until the shuttle was no more than a speck of light. Then there were several random bits of applause and the people in the tent next to us burst into "God Bless America" or "America the Beautiful" or something equally patriotic. It was a truly memorable experience.

3. Bet you forgot this was a list, huh? I read and then watched The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. (WARNING: if you have not read the book or seen the movie, and if you do not like spoilers, this review is probably not the place for you!) I had forgotten much of the book. It has been many years since I read the series. In fact I don't know if I have ever read them myself, or if I remember them from Story Time, when Mom read them to all of us kids. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Magician's Nephew and The Horse and His Boy are the ones I remember very well. Prince Caspian went the way of The Silver Chair. I hardly remembered it at all. But it is a wonderful story. The first story is a beautiful allegory of the Gospel and this is a beautiful allegory of the rest of life. Here we are, thousands of years after the Gospel story took place and we are looking for salvation, proof. Many have forgotten (the "stupid," "wild," beasts), many are bitter and angry (the dwarfs), many are trying to cover up the truth (the Telmarines), but there are those that remember (the Old Narnians, talking Beasts and creatures of the woods). The allegory goes on and on.

The story itself is charming. I have always been "Peter" girl, with Edmund a close second. None of the other characters really captured me like they did. I like Peter's strength and humility. He never admits to knowing it all and when he makes a mistake or falls short in some way he is always quick with an apology. He is the High King and I love him. Edmund is, admittedly, much more entertaining than Peter. He has a quicker wit and he has made bigger mistakes, but he learned from them and is stronger because of them. Susan is irritating and a bit dull in the book. Lewis seems to be setting her up for a fall (see the last book in the series) and Lucy is as hopeful and wholesome as ever. Of the new characters, Reepicheep is by far my favorite. He won my heart from the beginning.

The movie falls considerably short. The book was lacking in actual action. The battles were talked about, but only one was written about in detail. That said, there really was a lot for the movie to work with. It was a great start, I like where the movie started, but Susan's horn was blown much to early in the writer's haste to get the kids into Narnia. Apparently the story needed more drama (a prince on the run, a treacherous royal and a rebellion were not enough), and what better way to add drama than to give Peter a little teen angst. Aslan was introduced too late in the story and all of the delightful allusions to Christian life that Lewis included in his book were taken out of context and turned in doubts or mistakes.

One of my favorite parts of the book is when Peter and Edmund are sent ahead of Aslan to meet with Caspian and deal with issue of the upcoming battle. Questions are raised about Aslan and his actions and Peter explains, that he will act in his own time, but until then it is up to them to take action. Peter has full trust in Aslan and his timing, but recognizes that they can wait idle in the meantime. In the movie Peter says that he thinks "it's up to them now," portraying a distrust in Aslan. I hate it, almost as much as I hate the time when Peter asks Lucy why Aslan hasn't given them any proof and Lucy says perhaps it is because they have to prove themselves first.

There are other parts of the movie that I had problems with, but I could explain them away by looking at them from a screen-writer's point of view. Messing with the story is not quite as inexcusable as messing with the characters. Leave the characters alone, they are wonderful and do not need any contemporary "fixing" in order to be loved by audiences. Turning Peter into a brat and creating a love story between Susan and Caspian made the movie cliched and contrived.

That said, the last thirty minutes or so almost make up for the rest of the movie. The fight between Peter and Miraz (I was desperately afraid they were going to replace Peter with Caspian) and the treachery of Miraz's "allies" was wonderful, as was the appearance of the (dryad? naiad? I don't remember) that lived in the river and his destruction of the bridge.

As I said before, the book does not have a lot of action, that is not where the story lies. I can forgive the writers' of the movie for many of their mistakes. Perhaps with Voyage of the Dawn Treader they will be able to keep more to the story. There's more than enough action and adventure in that book, they won't have to contrive anything to make it doable on screen.

The End.

The Seventh One

Apparently when I have any extra time on my hands my default activity is blogging.

I sit here in my living room, stealing the Internet from one of my neighbors, indulging in a little downtime after spending the afternoon at a party with colleagues and the evening at a community presentation of The Music Man. Seriously though, I did spend the whole morning and early afternoon at the school, making everything was good to go with grades and trying to get a head start on cleaning. I didn't get very far with the cleaning. I never do.

Anyway, sitting here, down time, check. Currently downtime = blogging and Pride and Prejudice. Not the book, for heaven's sake. I have tried numerous (between 5 and 10) times to read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and have failed every single time. I enjoy the movies based on her stories very much, and after watching them I always have the urge to read the books as well. Big mistake. Fortunately for myself I ignore said urge and move on. I seriously can't stand Austen's books.

However, I simply adore Austen's stories. For some reason, Jane Austen's books bore me to death, but the stories, oh the stories. Turn them into movies and I'm sold, and just as blogging is now my default activity, Pride and Prejudice is my default movie. Feel like watching a movie, but can't decide? Pride and Prejudice. Not the long BBC mini-series either. I like it well enough, but the 2005 version with Keira Knightley, I can watch over and over again. I love everything about it. The acting is top- notch, the dialogue quick and delightful (which I suppose I owe mostly to Jane Austen), Donald Sutherland's in it, the music is beautiful and so is the cinematogrophy. Some of the shots are simply breathtaking. I enjoy the movement of the cameras almost as well as that of the characters, and the scenes themselves are so well composed.

I must go. I am tired. Good night.

The Sixth One

I recently finished another book entitled The Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore, or as my friends and I call it: My Best Friend Biff.

I was excited about this book for numerous reasons including, but not limited to, the following:

1. I think the idea of Jesus having a friend named "Levi, who is called Biff" is amusing.

2. There is kung fu. Kung fu + Jesus = good times all around.

3. It was compared to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, and I love Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It makes me laugh out loud.

The premise of the story is this: Biff is brought back from the dead to fill in the missing years of Jesus' life that the rest of the Gospels skip, from age 12 to 30. During these years Biff and Jesus travel the [known] world and encounter the Three Wise Men who turn out to be the founders/masters of three other world religions. Under one Wise Man, Jesus and Biff learn about Confucius and magic, under another they learn about Buddha and kung fu, under another they learn about Hinduism and yoga. Then they return home to Israel; Jesus is now ready to be the Messiah.

It took me five months to read this book cover to cover. It wasn't a difficult book to read, actually it was easy and entertaining. It took me so long because A) I work. I kind of had a lot to do and my free time was not exactly in abundance. B) As amusing as it was there were times I had to put it down for fear I was reading blasphemy. C) There was really a lot of sex in it. It was difficult for me to read about Jesus and sex, or rather, Jesus talking to Biff about what it's like to have sex. Biff liking sex + Jesus not being allowed sex = awkward, awkward reading.

So my reading of the book was stop- and - go. Over all, I liked it. Every time I thought the author was about to go too far, he wrote something that was either hilarious or really very deep and thought-provoking.

The book itself is an interesting concept. What would Jesus have learned if He'd been taught by masters/founders of other world religions? (Nothing, considering HE WAS/IS GOD!! But I digress). Being fully man AND fully God, how would He have coped with not having sex? Did He want to have sex? Granted, Mr. Moore has a questionable grasp on theology and it's noticeable, but the book makes me think. I love books that make me think, that ask interesting questions. This book made me think, asked interesting questions AND amused me, making it top-notch in my opinion.

Like this book? Go ahead and try Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and its sequels.

The Fifth One

Consider this a p.s. to my previous post, even though it has absolutely nothing (not just nothing, absolutely nothing) to do with what I said in my previous post.

Monday nights = American Gladiator. This just is. This began during the Writer's Strike, when no new episodes of regularly scheduled programming were being aired and the networks were forced to fall back on *gasp* reality television. American Gladiators came back. And it is wonderful. The winners of last season are back for a second round, this time as gladiators themselves. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome

JET

and

ROCKET!

Needless to say, whenever these two compete I always root for them, not the contestants. I followed them all they way through their own competition, so basically I'm just in it to see them annihilate the competition.

The Fourth One

It's been awhile, but I am still here.

Welcome to Finals Week at my school. Half days until Thursday and all I have to do is grade. In honor of not having to write lesson plans this past weekend, I opted instead to read a book. My books-to-read list is ridiculously long, as is my books-I'm-currently-reading list. In spite of these two glaring facts, I still decided that instead of reading one of those books, I would read a new one: The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett.

I am, admittedly, a fan of the Thin Man movies starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora Charles. When I found out they were based on a book, I knew I would have to read it. The Thin Man marks my first foray into the world of mystery noir and I found I liked it very much. Having seen the movies and already fallen in love with the characters, I'm not sure much could have dissuaded me from enjoying the book.

If you have seen The Thin Man (1934), then you know "whodunnit" along with all the characters and the roles they play. As with most books-turned-movies, the plot in the book is a little more complex and the minor characters a little more well-rounded. I very much enjoy the sarcasm employed by the most of the characters and the detached, nonchalant attitude Nick Charles seems to have toward whoever he is dealing with:

"I won't believe it." She stood up working her fingers together. "I won't. I won't." Her face was sick with fear, her voice strained, unreal as a ventriloquist's. "I won't believe it."

"That'll help a lot," I said. (95)

Aside from this, however, I did find myself a bit disappointed. Most of the charm from the movies comes not from the cases being investigated, but from the interaction between the Charles'. This interaction is played perfectly by Powell and Loy. What Hammett writes in his story only serves to whet the appetite of the reader.

Over all, I liked it. It was quick and easy and fun and it made me thirsty for more, which is why I am currently looking at a copy of one of Dashiell Hammett's other well-known stories, The Maltese Falcon.

Favorite quotation from The Thin Man, courtesy of Guild and Gilbert:

"Did that bum smack you just to be doing something?"

"No, no, it was my fault. I- I did resist."

"Oh, well," Guild said, "nobody likes to be arrested, I guess." (173)

The Third One

I once postponed a test for one of my classes and they gave me a standing ovation. It made me want to give them more tests so I could postpone them and receive more standing ovations. Standing ovations can be intoxicating, my students need to be careful lest they receive more tests than they can handle. Eventually, I imagine, the standing ovations would end. It would be a tragic day. I, used to getting standing ovations for postponing tests, would become cranky from withdrawal. Tests would no longer be postponed, and students, used to not taking tests on the days they are assigned, would be caught off guard. They would fail, grades would suffer, kids would not graduate. All of this because of one standing ovation. Good thing I am not prone to postponing tests.

I read a memoir recently entitled Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Jane Gilman. It was engrossing and entertaining. Every snapshot Gilman places in front of the reader is amusing, occasionally laugh-out-loud amusing. She is equally talented at seeing the whole picture, and drawing real life-lessons from real-life situations. Her points are not heavy-handed, instead I found I learned a lot and looked at situations from a new viewpoint, even with the understanding that were Ms. Gilman and I ever to meet, we would probably disagree on almost everything.

I added this book to my ever-growing list of wonderful memoirs. With every memoir I read I am reminded that I probably could never actually write one myself. The life lessons I learn seem to come primarily from other people's lives or books I have read or movies I have watched. My own life, which leaves me completely content, is full of random and quaint anecdotes, but no thought-provoking, hilarious, or traumatic (seemingly or authentic) events. In fact even now, as I read through this post, all I can think is: have I again over-used commas? Answer: probably.

Like memoirs? Read these: Honky by Dalton Conley, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (yes. I do think this is memoir. Definitely, at least, memoir-esque.)

The Second One

Again I am sitting in class, with all my students hard at work. Could there be a better time to post? I submit that there cannot!*

As my first year teaching comes to an end I find myself counting the days as much as my students. At the same time I am also looking forward to next year. I have in my mind all the things I am going to do better and change in my classroom and methods. I really want a new textbook for at least Spanish 1. That would be amazing.

I confiscated an English vocab list from one of my students. It was full of such great words. My students all laughed at how excited I got over them. I chose a word from the list that will be today's word of the day. You can find it at the bottom of today's post.

Prom is over, thank heavens. I spent all Saturday setting up for it and chaperoning it. At the risk of sounding like an old woman, I cannot stand the way they dance or the music that they ask for. The kids request songs and then sway back and forth, butt to crotch. It's obscene and any fool can do it (as demonstrated by many last Saturday night). Then when a song comes on they can actually dance to, they all leave the dance floor. Kids these days. Fortunately the d.j.'s were more than willing to work with me in keeping an eye on the music, and they played a variety of music instead of (essentially) the same song over and over and over again.

Favorite new Internet find: hulu!! Check it out. Know it, love it. For a girl like me, without cable, this is fantastic.

Word of the day: virulent adj. poisonous or destructive.

*line inspired by Brian Regan. Thank you Brian Regan.

The First One

Ask me how long it's taken me to write The First One. I spent so much time figuring out what I wanted the blog to look like. Then I posted and decided I didn't like it. Then I decided I didn't like what the post said, so I had to start all over again. But now I have it. And I like it. Unfortunately, I am also writing this as I am supposed to be teaching and every teaching class I have ever taken said that is a bad idea. So, this First One is short and sweet. Welcome to my blog. It's gonna be great.