The Third One

I once postponed a test for one of my classes and they gave me a standing ovation. It made me want to give them more tests so I could postpone them and receive more standing ovations. Standing ovations can be intoxicating, my students need to be careful lest they receive more tests than they can handle. Eventually, I imagine, the standing ovations would end. It would be a tragic day. I, used to getting standing ovations for postponing tests, would become cranky from withdrawal. Tests would no longer be postponed, and students, used to not taking tests on the days they are assigned, would be caught off guard. They would fail, grades would suffer, kids would not graduate. All of this because of one standing ovation. Good thing I am not prone to postponing tests.

I read a memoir recently entitled Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Jane Gilman. It was engrossing and entertaining. Every snapshot Gilman places in front of the reader is amusing, occasionally laugh-out-loud amusing. She is equally talented at seeing the whole picture, and drawing real life-lessons from real-life situations. Her points are not heavy-handed, instead I found I learned a lot and looked at situations from a new viewpoint, even with the understanding that were Ms. Gilman and I ever to meet, we would probably disagree on almost everything.

I added this book to my ever-growing list of wonderful memoirs. With every memoir I read I am reminded that I probably could never actually write one myself. The life lessons I learn seem to come primarily from other people's lives or books I have read or movies I have watched. My own life, which leaves me completely content, is full of random and quaint anecdotes, but no thought-provoking, hilarious, or traumatic (seemingly or authentic) events. In fact even now, as I read through this post, all I can think is: have I again over-used commas? Answer: probably.

Like memoirs? Read these: Honky by Dalton Conley, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (yes. I do think this is memoir. Definitely, at least, memoir-esque.)